To help strengthening the Muslim families
and spread the teachings of Islam in building families, the Muslim Students'
Association at the University of Alberta prepared a extremely summarized
translation for two books. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem
Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of
AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are:
1- How to make your wife happy
2- How to make your husband happy
These books exceed the traditional
presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and
extend into application of these rights in daily life. The following summary
highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be
done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from
Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted
in this translation. The following is the translation of the FIRST book.
This translation is copyrighted to MSA at
University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means,
provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without
permission.
1. Beautiful Reception. After returning
from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you:
begin with a good greeting
start with Assalamau 'Aliaykum and a
smile. Salam is a sunnah and a du'aa for her as well
Shake her hand and leave bad news for
later!
2. Sweet Speech and Enchanting
Invitations
Choose words that are positive and avoid
negative ones
Give her your attention when you speak or
she speaks
Speak with clarity and repeat words if
necessary until she understands
Call her nice names that she likes, e.g.
my sweet-heart, honey, saaliha, etc
3. Friendliness and Recreation
Spend time talking together
Spread to her good news
Remember your good memories together
4. Games and Distractions
Joking around & having a sense of humor
Playing and competing with each other in
sports or whatever
Taking her to watch permissible (halal)
types of entertainment
Avoiding prohibited (haram) things in
your choices of entertainment
5. Assistance in the Household
Doing what you as an individual can/like
to do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired
The most important thing is making it
obvious that he appreciates her hard work
6. Consultation (Shurah) Specifically in
family matters
Giving her the feeling that her opinion
is important to you
Studying her opinion carefully
Be willing to change an opinion for hers
if it is better
Thanking her for helping you with her
opinions
7. Visiting Others
Choosing well raised people to build
relations with. There is a great reward in visiting relatives and pious
people. (Not in wasting time while visiting!)
Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners
during visits
Not forcing her to visit whom she does
not feel comfortable with
8. Conduct During Travel
Offer a warm farewell and good advice
Ask her to pray for him
Ask pious relatives and friends to take
care of the family in your absence
Give her enough money for what she might
need
Try to stay in touch with her whether by
phone, e-mail, letters, etc.
Return as soon as possible
Bring her a gift!
Avoid returning at an unexpected time or
at night
Take her with you if possible
9. Financial Support
The husband needs to be generous within
his financial capabilities. He should not be a miser with his money (nor
wasteful).
He gets rewards for all what he spends on
her sustenance even for a small piece of bread that he feeds her by his hand
(hadeith).
He is strongly encouraged to give to her
before she asks him.
10. Smelling Good and Physical
Beautification
Following the Sunnah in removing hair
from the groin and underarms.
Always being clean and neat
Put on perfume for her
11. Intercourse
It is obligatory to do it habitually if
you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)
Start with "Bismillah" and the authentic
du'a.
Enter into her in the proper place only
(not the anus)
Begin with foreplay including words of
love
Continue until you have satisfied her
desire
Relax and joke around afterwards
Avoid intercourse during the monthly
period because it haram
Do what you can to avoid damaging her
level of Hiyaa (shyness and modesty) such as taking your clothes together
instead of asking her to do it first while you are looking on
Avoid positions during intercourse that
may harm her such as putting pressure on her chest and blocking her breath,
especially if you are heavy
Choose suitable times for intercourse and
be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.
12. Guarding Privacy
Avoid disclosing private information such
as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.
13. Aiding in the Obedience to Allah
Wake her up in the last third of the
night to pray "Qiam-ul-Layl" (extra prayer done at night with long sujood
and ruku'ua)
Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and
its tafseer
Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah
by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening
Encourage her to spend money for the sake
of Allah such as in a charity sale
Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can
afford to do so
14. Showing Respect for her Family and
Friends
Take her to visit her family and
relatives, especially her parents
Invite them to visit her and welcome them
Give them presents on special occasions
Help them when needed with money, effort,
etc.
Keep good relations with her family after
her death if she dies first. Also in this case the husband is encouraged to
follow the sunnah and keep giving what she used to give in her life to her
friends and
family.
15. (Islamic) Training & Admonition. This
includes:
The basics of Islam
Her duties and rights
Reading and writing
Encouraging her to attend lessons and
halaqahs
Islamic rules (ahkam) related to women
Buying Islamic books and tapes for the
home library
16. Admirable Jealousy
Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before
leaving house
Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men
Avoiding excess jealousy. Examples of
this are:
1- Analyzing every word and sentence she says
and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean
2- Preventing her from going out of the house
when the reasons are just
3- Preventing her from answering the phone.
4- etc.
17. Patience and Mildness
Problems are expected in every marriage
so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying
problems until a marital breakdown.
Anger should be shown when she exceeds
the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching
prohibited scenes on TV, etc.
Forgive the mistakes she does to you
(See item 18)
How can you best correct her mistakes?
1- First, implicit and explicit advice
several times.
2- Then by turning your back to her in bed
(displaying your feelings). Note that this does not include leaving the
bedroom to another room, leaving the house to another place, or not talking
with her.
3- The last solution is lightly hitting (when
allowable) her. In this case, the hsuband should consider the following:
He should know that sunnah is to
avoid beating as the Prophet PBUH never beat a woman or a servant.
He should do it only in extreme cases
of disobedience, e.g. refusing intercourse without cause frequently,
constantly not praying on time, leaving the house for long periods of
time without permission nor refusing to tell him where she had been,
etc.
It should not be done except after
having turned from her bed and discussing the matter with her as
mentioned in Qur'an
He should not hit her hard injuring
her, or hit her on her face or on sensitive parts of her body
He should avoid shaming her such as
by hitting her with a shoe, etc.
18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure
Accounting her only for larger mistakes
Forgive mistakes done to him but account
her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc.
Remember all the good she does whenever
she makes a mistake
Remember that all humans err so try to
find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly
cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing
Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking
of the food as the Prophet PBUH never blamed any of his wives for this. If
he likes the food, he eats and if he doesn't then he does not eat and does
not comment
Before declaring her to be in error, try
other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations
Escape from using insults and words that
may hurt her feelings
When it becomes necessary to discuss a
problem wait until you have privacy from others
Waiting until the anger has subsided a
bit can help to keep a control on your words.
Finally, please make Du'a for the writer;
Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and
for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so
forgive us our faults and correct our errors.
How to Make your
Husband Happy
To help strengthening the Muslim families
and spread the teachings of Islam in building families, the Muslim Students'
Association at the University of Alberta prepared a extremely summarized
translation for two books. The books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem
Hamed. An Egyptian scholar, who graduated from the Islamic University of
AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in Saudi Arabia. The two books are:
1- How to make your wife happy
2- How to make your husband happy
These books exceed the traditional
presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good manners) and
extend into application of these rights in daily life. The following summary
highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what could or should be
done. Every single item mentioned by the author is supported by evidences from
Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions, but evidences are omitted
in this translation. The following is the translation of the SECOND book.
This translation is copyrighted to MSA at
University of Alberta. Feel free to repost it or reprint it by all means,
provided that you do not make any changes, additions, or omissions without
permission.
1. Beautiful Reception. After returning
from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good
greeting
Meet him with a cheerful face.
Beautify and perfume yourself
Start with good news and delay any bad
news until he has rested
Receive him with loving and yearning
sentences
Make hard efforts for excellence of the
food & having it ready on time.
2. Beautify and Soften the Voice
For your husband only, it shouldn't be
used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were
unmarried)
3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
Taking good care of your body and fitness
Put on nice and attractive clothes and
perfumes
Bath regularly and, after the monthly
period, remove any blood traces or bad smells
Avoid that your husband observes you in
dirty clothes or rough shape
Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation,
e.g. tatoo
Use the types of perfumes, colors, and
clothes that the husband likes
Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from
time to time
However with these things you should
avoid excessiveness and, of course, only act as such in front of mahrem men
and women.
4. Intercourse
Hasten for intercourse when your husband
feels compulsion for it.
Keep your body clean and smelling good as
possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
Exchange loving phrases with your
husband.
Leave your husband to fully satisfy his
desire.
Choose suitable times and good occasions
for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after
returning from a travel, weekends, etc.
5. Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has
Allotted
You shouldn't be depressed because your
husband is poor or works in a simple job.
You should look at poor, sick, and
handicapped people and remember Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you
You should remember that real wealth lays
in Iman and piety.
6. Indifference to Worldly Things
You should not consider this world as
your hope and interest
You should not ask your husband for many
unnecessary things
Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy
what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look
forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve
paradise (Jannah).
Encourage your husband to reduce expenses
and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.
7. Appreciation
By the saying of the prophet, the
majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny
the good done to them.
The result of being grateful is that your
husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways
The result of being ungrateful is that
your husband will be dissappointed and will start asking himself: Why should
I do good to her, if she never appreciates?
8. Devotion and Loyalty
In particular in times of calamities in
your husband's body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
Supporting him through your own work,
money, and properties if needed.
9. Compliance to Him
In all what he commands you, unless it is
prohibited (Haram).
In Islam, the husband is the leader of
the family, and the wife is his support and consultant
10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry
First off, try to avoid what will
guarantee his anger.
But if it happens that you can't, then
try to appease him as follows:
1- If you mistaken, then apologize
2- If he mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield you were right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and
discuss the matter peacefully with him.
3- If he was angry because of external
reasons then:
# Keeping silent untill his anger goes
# Find execuses for him, e.g. tired,
problems at work, some one insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on
knowing what happened, e.g.
1) You should tell me what happened?
2) I must know what made you so angry.
3) You are hidding something, and I
have the right to know
11. Guardianship While He is Absent
Protecting yourself from any prohibited
relations
Keep the secrets of the family,
particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other
people to know
Take care of the house and children
Take care of his money and properties
Do not go out of your house without his
permission and put on full hijab
Refuse people whom he does not like to
come over
Do not allow any non-mahram man to be
alone with you in any place
Be good with his parents and relatives in
his absence
12. Showing Respect for his Family and
Friends
You should welcome his guests and try to
please them, especially his parents
You should avoid problems as much as you
can with his relatives
You should avoid putting him is a
position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife
Show good hospitality for his guests by
arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming
their wives, etc.
Encourage him to visit his relatives and
invite them to your home.
Phone his parents and sisters, send
letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.
13. Admirable Jealousy
Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for
her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not
insulating or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.
You should not follow or create unfounded
doubts.
14. Patience and Emotional Support
Be patient when you face poverty and
strained circumstances.
When you face calamities and disasters
that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or
properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
When facing hardships in Da'wah
(imprisonment, getting fired, arrested, etc.), be patient and encourage him
to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise.
When he mistreats you, counteract his
ill-treatment by good treatment
15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah
and Jihad
Cooperate with your husband and remind
him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.* Encourage him to pray
at night.
Listen and reciting the Qur'an
individually and with your husband.
Listen to Islamic tapes and songs
individually and with your husband.
Remember Allah SWT much, particularly
after Fajr and before Maghrib.
Share in arranging Da'wah activities for
women and children.
Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good
manners ('adab) for women.
Support your husband's activities by
encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
Yielding some of your rights and a part
of your time with your husband for Da'wah.
Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed
and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah
SWT.
15. Good Housekeeping
Keep it clean, decorated and well
arranged.
Change house arrangements from time to
time to avoid boredom.
Perfect of food and prepare healthy
foods.
Learn all the necessary skills for
managing the house, e.g. sewing.
Learn how to raise children properly and
in an Islamic way.
17. Preservation of Finances and the Family
Do not spend from his money, even for
charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
Protect his house, car, etc. while he is
absent.
Keep the children in good shape, clean
clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.
Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.
Finally, please make Du'a for the writer;
Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed, for the translator brother Abu Talhah and
for reviewer Br. Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so
forgive us our faults and correct our errors.
The Wedding of
Fatima (r)
By Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat, with notes (in blue) from
the webmaster
Fatimah (Radhiallaahu
Ánha) was the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi
Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said,
'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is
part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'
When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu
Ánha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come
from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi
Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Ánhu),
who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a
formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I
possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him
and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet
(Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Áli! Do you
possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an
armour I possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu
Álayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell
away your armour.'
So, Áli (Radhiallaahu
Ánhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) for 480 Dirham
and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu
Ánhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) to bring some
perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) was sent to call
Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu
Ánhum).
When these men arrived
and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) recited
the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) in
marriage to Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that
I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Áli for 400 Mithqaal of
silver and Áli has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Duá saying, 'O
Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon
them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
When the time came for
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) to go to Áli's (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) house, she was
sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Ánhu).
After the Éesha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) went to
their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put
his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) and
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Ánha) and made Duá for them.
The sovereign of both
worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four
mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one
bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple
fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was
solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and
easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS
DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
"Engagements" are
contrary to the Sunnah. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
To unnecessarily
delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of
marriage is incorrect. (Note: But on the other
hand, some parents pray day and night endlessly for a quick marriage to a
good-looking, highly educated, well-off person who comes from a grand family
of great repute...in the case of a groom, a groom with a high-flying job,
etc. The minute we find such a groom or bride, we jump to grab him/her. But
how many of us spend sleepless nights praying not for a speedy grand
marriage but a marriage which is filled with love, happiness, blessings and
piety?)
There is nothing
wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However,
no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off
places. (Note: The money could instead be spent
in charity, to gain the blessings of the poor.)
It is appropriate
that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
(Note: The Prophet's first marriage was to Khadija,
who was 15 years older than him. She was a widower and he was a virgin. They
were so happy together that he did not remarry until she passed away, even
though polygamy was widely practised during that time - before the advent of
Islam)
If the father of
the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he
should himself solemnise the marriage.
It is better to
give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not
have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
(Note: The dowry is an obligation upon the groom's family, not the bride's
family!)
It is totally
un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order
to have grandiose weddings. (Note: On the
contrary, weddings are arranged on such a grand basis that often parents
cannot perform obligatory acts like Hajj for the next few years because they
lack funds, which were spent on the weddings of their children)
It is fallacy to
think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant
wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
(Note: We spend thousands of dollars to impress people. We are sentimental -
"I want my daughter/son to have the best." However, think about it this
way...the people you impress will forget the wedding after a few weeks, your
daughter/son's marital happiness may float on the extravagance of her/his
wedding for a short while but ultimately, it will depend on just one thing:
God. What is the use angering and disappointing God when it is His
blessings, and nothing else - not even the grandest, most impressive
wedding, that will ensure your children are happy? Ask yourself, are you
getting your children married so you can show off and enjoy a grand wedding
or because you want your children to experience happy, guided and blessed
married lives?)
The present day
practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against
Shariáh. (Note: Teenagers and young adults, if
prompted, will admit the level of flirting, 'checking out' and showing off
that goes on during weddings, where everyone is dressed to put on a show,
not to watch a wedding take place.)
There is nothing
such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
(Note: Another source attests that a simple gathering
of women and girls to apply mehdi or henna on the bride is allowed)
Great care must be
taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the
bridegroom and all the participants. (Note: On
the contrary, the bride misses her prayer because her make-up will be washed
away if she performs ablution...guests who are also dressed up delay their
prayers for similar reasons. The couple and guests should perform ablution
before going to the wedding and should perform their prayers there. The
organisers of the wedding should also make arrangments for guests to perform
their prayers. How can we expect our marriages to be successful and blessed
if we abandon the first pillar of Islam, in pursuit of the perfect wedding?)
It is un-Islamic to
display the bride on stage. (Note: If she
adorns herself and dresses up, it should be for her own satisfaction, her
family's happiness and for her husband - not for hundreds of male wedding
guests that will come to have a look at her. The bride should not be treated
like a trophy - all dolled up, sitting quietly on a stage for all to see,
pretending to be reserved and shy (as is the custom and culture) - this is
demeaning for she is a thinking individual - not something to decorate and
show off.)
The unnecessary
expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in
Shariáh. (Note: The Islamic tradition is for
the bride's family to hold a simple nikah ceremony where the marriage
contract is signed. The big feast should only take place as the walima,
which is the obligation of the groom's family. Sadly, often low-income
parents of young girls delay getting their daughters married because they
feel pressed by society to throw a big feast.)
For the engaged
couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and
slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qurãnic law of Hijaab.
(Note: It is rather funny - in most cultures, a
man and woman get engaged and they spend time together like they are already
married. But as soon as the nikah takes place, they are told to stay
separate and maintain 'modesty'. In many cultures, the nikah takes place in
the morning and the wedding reception at night or several weeks or even
months, later. Strangely, the same couple who was engaged and mixing freely,
is not allowed to mix freely between the nikah and the wedding reception
thrown by the bride's family. It is as ridiculous as the Western concept of
mixing freely before and after the engagement but as soon as the bride puts
on her wedding dress, it's bad luck for the groom to see her! In Islam, the
engagement is not a licence to mix freely - the nikah is. It is as good as
getting married and the couple can do everything together and have the
wedding reception and the walima later.)
It is un-Islamic
for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
(Note: In this day and age, every other person around
us could be a weirdo. We rarely become engaged to the children of families
that we know very well so it is difficult to find out what kind of a person
we are getting married to. Certain scholars attests that meeting, in the
presence of Mahram men, and getting to know each other, within the rules set
by the Quran is allowed.)
Three things should
be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time
of Nikah:
Presents should
be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on
interest for such presents);
To give necessary
items;
A show should not
be made of whatever is given.
It is Sunnat for
the bridegroom's family to make Walimah. In Walimah, whatever is easily
available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is
no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
To delay Nikah
after the engagement is un-Islamic.
In aping Western and
Hindu methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are
un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
Displaying the
bride on stage;
Inviting guests for
the wedding from far off places;
Receiving guests in
the hall; (Note: The Mosque is the center of
life for true Muslims and weddings should be held there. According to the
Tradition of the Prophet(S.A.W.) marriages performed in the House of Allah,
immediately preceded and followed by prayers, will attract the maximum of
Allah's Blessings. Obviously, people know very well that the mosque is no
place for the unIslamic cultural practices they promote at their weddings
and so make alternative arrangements.)
The bride's people
incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in
Shariáh. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the
bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
It is contrary to
Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for
or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We
should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) did not
give Áli (Radhiallaahu Ánhu) anything except Duá.
(Note: Unfortunately, the fathers of millions of
daughters across the world, especially South Asia, incur debts and become poor
and miserable because 'culture' pressurises them to give dowry to their future
son-in-laws. Some girls are forced to remain single for years because they
cannot afford the dowry - some commit suicide, as do their deperate fathers.
In parts of South Asia, dowry-murders, among Hindu families, are commonplace
whereby - a new bride is tortured or murdered by her in laws because her
family did not give a large enough dowry. This is completely UnIslamic - the
dowry or Mahr is to come from the groom to the bride, not the other way
around.)
